Ok, so I’m no psychologist. I’m just a mother, wife and photographer who has A LOT of life experience. I’ve suffered with anxiety and depression (still do on occasions!) I’ve had problems at home as a child, been through all matters of abuse, break ups, health issues…..you name it I’ve been through it or know someone who has. I’m writing this list as something that may help someone, I’m writing it not from a position of education, but from a position of experience.
let’s start from the beginning.
1. Let It Go…
Let go of everything that is doing you harm, learning from bad experiences is good, holding on to the anger and hurt is not. I whole heartedly believe that if we haven’t let go of our ‘demons’ that we are only half of the person we could have been. Undoubtedly our past experiences will shape us, we just have to make sure that they are shaping us in a positive way. Letting go of deep, painful experiences, is probably one of the most hardest things we have to do. Don’t do it alone; seek help from friends, family and or medical professionals. Don’t allow your past dictate your future.
2. Take Care of Yourself.
I think this one kind of links with number one, once you’ve started letting go of your past you need to start healing and taking care of you. A healthy mind will promote a healthy body and vice versa. When you start looking after yourself you will start seeing a massive change in your life. You will have more energy, better sleep, more patience and will be more productive. All these things, in turn, will make you feel a lot happier.
3. Love others
I make a conscious decision to love others, when I say love I mean it in a sense of I treat people with respect, with an open heart and open mind. I try and make people’s lives better, even if it’s only in a small way. Whether you are loving on your family and friends or complete strangers, showing love to people will not only make them feel happy but it will make you feel awesome too. Compliment people, cook your husbands favourite meal, smile at strangers at the grocery store; Let your happy love be contagious! with so much hate going on in the world we definitely need to share a little love!
4. Read the 5 love languages series;
Seriously, no matter who you are or what your circumstance is, this book will blow your mind. It truly changed my outlook on life and humans in general!
5. Count your blessings…
When things get tough it’s so easy to fall into the mind set of feeling like ‘everything’s going wrong’ we tend to focus on the bad and become consumed with worry.
Accepting a situation for what it is doesn’t seem like something that would help when things are going wrong, but it does. I still struggle with this concept at times, a lot of times! I have to kinda talk myself down and remind myself to just accept the facts and move on. Look at what your next step will be, a way to help you deal with any situation you find yourself in. If we waste our time worrying about something that we can’t change then we’re only taking time away from being constructive in finding a way forward. Your circumstance may not be your choice, but the way you react is…
6. Stop worrying about ‘what people will think’
I think we’re all guilty of this to some extent. I’ve worried about the way I look, how I speak, where I am from, my weight, how I parent, what I wear….this list could go on for some time! My attitude is now incredibly different. How people feel about the decisions I make etc no longer have any bearing on my life, and I tell you something; its made my life so much more pleasant. I dress how I want, I parent without fear of judgement, I surround myself with people I love and who love me!
Stop allowing people who are nothing to you, have any effect on you or your day.
7. Don’t pin your happiness on anything outside of you.
Being happy is not IS in fact a choice. It’s something that is inside all of us. We just need to learn how to unlock it. Let me try and explain this really simply; we all walk around on a normal day at a certain level of happy. When something bad happens we feel sad for a while then go back to the ‘constant’ level of happy. Same If something good happens in your day; you’re happier for a short while, then you go back to the same constant level. Therefore making statements like; I’ll be when or if I had more money, had a partner, got a promotion etc The same thing will happen. You will b happy for a while then you will be back to the same level. Happiness has to come from you. Find the joy and happiness in all you do. Raise your constant level!
8. Don’t forget that life is for living!
So live it to the absolute maximum capacity! Don’t just say, do. Don’t just settle, strive for better. Take those risks, spend time doing things you love, with people you love. Live your life fearlessly, if you make a mistake, get up, brush it off, learn from it and next time go in harder!
9. Love yourself, unconditionally
Love yourself, you’re completely unique, don’t change what makes you, you. Make decisions that allow you to be the best version of you. Love yourself because if you don’t love you, how do you expect anyone else to?
You only have one chance at this thing called ‘life’, learn to enjoy the ride!
Once you start making small changes in your life you realize that a lot of this list begins to fall into place itself. This list was more of a summary for each step. I will be going into each step in more depth in the next 9 blogs so keep an eye out for them if you like this!
I like to write a motivational saying each week to hold onto. this week is ‘we only regret the things we didn’t do and the chances we didn’t take’.